Forgive Me, Forget Me
by Madame aZure
Summary: "Forgetting's just forgetting, except when it's not." - Mad Hatter
**Title:** Chapter I: The Teacup…

 **Writer:** Madame aZure

 **Fandom:** Noblesse;

 **Pairing:** None;

 **Genre:** Drama;

 **Rating:** T;

 **Warnings:** this fanfiction contains mild foul language. Read at your own risk.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Noblesse or any of the characters. No trademark infringement or profit is meant from the writing of this fanfiction.

 **Author's Note:** the concept for this fanfic made more sense in my mind.

* * *

 **~Z~**

 _ **"Forgetting's just forgetting, except when it's not. Then they call it something else."**_

 _ **\- The Mad Hatter, Alice: Madness Returns.**_

 **~Z~**

Pain rippled across Frankenstein's mind with such intensity he forgot how to breathe. His knees gave in and he fell down, grabbing his head with his hands in an attempt to ease the horrible headache that threatened to split his head open, instinctually closing his eyes. His lungs refused to fill with air no matter how much he'd tried to draw breath, feeling a dizziness slowly taking over his awareness. He didn't understand what was happening: it was clear this was a mental attack, and a rather powerful one at that, but from whom? The Union had fallen, the last of their enemies long since defeated. They had finally won, so who…?

Fighting through the pain, he retreated himself in the back of his mind, hoping to somehow repel the attack and protect himself from being mind controlled.

As reality faded away, he found himself in what should've been a quiet, white nothingness, if it weren't for all his memories shattering around him like glass breaking under an unknown force. It took all the will power he could muster to concentrate on finding the enemy inside his mind, focusing on one task seemingly impossible with his mind breaking and rearranging itself after someone else's will. His grip on his consciousness was slipping away, his sight blurring with every passing moment.

Amongst the shards, he saw the enemy's hazy figure, with his back turned to him. He got himself up, dragging him to the other, only to fall to his knees when a flash of pain took over him again. But he did not know what hurt more: his mind being ripped apart or finding out that the one fiddling with his mind was no one else than Raizel.

"M-master?" his lips barely mouthed the words, his voice stuck somewhere in his throat. He could not believe this – Raizel was using his mind control to rewrite his memories. But why?

The Noblesse turned his head to him, his scarlet eyes filled with so much sorrow they almost looked black. His lips curled into a sad, gentle smile like someone who had finally accepted their fate.

The scientist looked at him dumbfounded, before screaming in pain when a part of his memories just shattered into tiny fragments. He hunched over, holding his breath for a few moments to make the pain go away, before looking again at his master, tears filling his clear, blue eyes.

"Master, please," he sobbed sadly, shaking his head in disbelief, knowing that if it was his Master who was erasing his mind, he could do nothing to stop it. "I'm begging you, don't take away my memories," he had no idea what he did wrong to upset his Master so much that he'd come to this cruel decision. He trusted him with his life, so why? Why had he chosen to do something like this?

As he continued to look at the being before him, he started realizing that he barely even remembered who the other was. His name? What was his name? He remembered the letters, but had no idea how to arrange them to form it. He remembered the way the air passed through his throat when speaking it, the way it tasted on his lips and yet he couldn't voice it. Why was so hard to recall a simple bundle of letters?

Raizel closed his eyes and turned his head to the side, hands clenching into trembling fists. His lips moved as if to say something, but words never made it past his lips, changing his mind in the last second. He opened his eyes, and looked at Frankenstein tenderly, coming to him with slow, steady steps. He kneeled before his servant and after a moment of hesitation, he wrapped his arms around him, bringing the other as close to him as possible.

Frankenstein simply tensed in the hug, confused as to why this stranger was hugging him, but did nothing to push him away, too dazed by the mind control. They stood like that, and for a moment time seemed to stop: there they were, in a white nothingness, closer than any physical boundary could permit, so close their very souls brushed one against the other. After a few moments, Raizel pulled away, looking straight into the scientist's eyes.

"Forgive me," he whispered, and those simple words could not contain the pain the Noblesse was feeling.

Raizel slipped a gentle hand under the other's chin, tilting his head to him. He leaned in and placed a delicate kiss on his forehead, his lips staying there for a few moments, as if to engrave their touch on the other's skin. He pulled away, closed his eyes as if he was searching for his own resolution, sighed deeply and reopened them, his expression an unreadable mask, but his eyes, two raging storms of sorrow.

"Frankenstein, I have one last request for you: live. For yourself –" he said as his hand caressed the side of the scientist's face, "– for them, –" indicating that he was referring to the children, "– and for me." he finished sadly. He joined their foreheads in a gentle touch and for the first time in his existence, crystal tears fell down his cheeks.

" _Forget me_ ," two simple words sealed their fate, the Noblesse's image shattering like glass before the scientist, as darkness took over his mind.

 **~Z~**

Frankenstein kept looking at the empty teacup in his hand. The ivory porcelain shined in the afternoon light with such an innocent elegance, it was mesmerizing. His fingers curled around it with so much care and fondness, as if he was afraid not to break it. It was beyond absurd to grant an ordinary object so much importance, and yet, he found himself unable to simply throw it away. He couldn't do such a cruel thing, not when his heartstrings were so tightly tied around it.

Sometimes, he detested that little teacup, as it held everything he could not remember. He could see memories engraved in between its rose pattern, making the design even more intricate than it already was, but he was too blind to understand them. Under his fingertips, the porcelain would vibrate with the emotions hidden inside it, but he was too deaf to hear its silent voice. It was cruel to know that, although he had in his hands the puzzle piece that should've fit somewhere in his memories, his mind refused to accept it, since there wasn't an emptiness that needed to be filled, as the mind control hasn't completely erased them, but merely altered them. He was complete, he wasn't broken and yet… there was something not quite right, like looking at a finished painting and realizing that there was a little detail that could be added to make it more defined. There was more to his story, but much to his dismay, there was nothing he could do to unfold it.

Weeks had passed since the Union's downfall and since then, he could not stop himself from introspecting his memories again and again, hoping to find that little spider's thread that could pull him out of this ignorance of his.

He remembered that he served loyally under the Noblesse and he knew that he respected them, even if he couldn't separate the respect he felt for them as a superior being from the respect for them as a person. He could recall every single conversation he had with them, every moment he spent in their presence, every little thing he has done for them, and yet… their voice had no sound, their image was a shapeless void, their touch held no pressure. Although it was common knowledge that the Noblesse was a noble, Frankenstein found it difficult to associate this godlike concept to a mortal being. In his memories, the Noblesse was something akin to an embodiment of the forces of nature, so powerful they could warp and bend the reality, but so incomprehensible that the mere human mind could not fathom them a physical form. And it felt right, almost normal to regard them as that, which was more than unsettling.

His children were no better than him. They remembered that the Noblesse had lived with them for a while, that they had meals together and even went to school with them, but none could tell exactly who they were.

Tao was of no help either in identifying the Noblesse, as under his mind control, he had destroyed all the video recordings that included them and the framed pictures around the house and everything that could physically represent them.

It was cruel how easily they had accepted what happened, seemingly not affected in the least that they had lived with an embodiment of nothingness whom they treated as a family member, but Frankenstein understood them. They merely remembered the essence of their moments together with the Noblesse, void of any unnecessary details, such as the emotions tied to them. In fact, they couldn't associate any type of emotion to the Noblesse – remembering them felt impersonal, cold, distant, like seeing someone else's misfortune and simply shrugging it away.

They were numb, but Frankenstein wasn't – not completely at least, he was far too stubborn for something like this, and something told him it was because of his bond with the Noblesse that he refused to let go of this matter. He was still unsure what he felt about them, whether he hated or loved them, but one thing was sure: they had been a part of Frankenstein and now they were missing.

The scientist twirled the teacup in his hands with a little more force than necessary, almost cracking the porcelain.

Immediately after the incident, he went to Lukedonia, to confront the nobles about what happened. To his surprise, everyone from Lukedonia was going through the same thing as him and his children. Not even the Lord could recall the Noblesse.

 _"The Noblesse mustn't be remembered as a person, but as a judge, jury and executioner. When this title is bestowed upon them at birth, they are robbed of their right to live as nobles. Since their judgment must remain unbiased, they are forbidden from fraternizing or choosing a consort – they must lead a life where nothing is more important than upholding their duties as Noblesse. Therefore, when they are fated to meet their end, their existence is erased from the minds of those who met them, so none will remember them as a person, but as Noblesse. Even the Lord has to bow her head to this unspoken rule. The fate of the Noblesse is cruel: no matter how powerful they are… they always die alone for the cause they believe in," Gajutel told him solemnly, like he had rehearsed the lines he had just spoken over and over again._

 _"My father was a fool to allow the Noblesse the freedom to live as a noble. His decision ultimately did more wrong than right," the Lord spoke in an authoritative tone. "Another Noblesse has already been born," she stated solemnly, "and such, who the previous one was is of little importance now," she averted her gaze away for a few moments, seemingly lost in her thoughts, then looked at Frankenstein with a stern look. "Furthermore, the storm has passed, but there is still much to do. Lukedonia has suffered greatly in this war and it will take time and effort to restore it to what it had once been, the new werewolf Lord seeks an alliance with us, and the Union had fallen, but its remnants are already merging together, hoping to bring it back to the former glory. It is not a relevant time to worry ourselves with such petty matters," she said in a determined voice.. "Frankenstein, you have been the Noblesse's loyal servant for hundreds of years, and so, you have thoroughly earned your place amongst us. Although it is not my place to request something like this from a human, I do hope you will lend us your power in teaching the new clan leaders of the way of the combat,"Raskreia finished, truly hoping that the scientist would accept her offer, as the other could prove to be a beneficial addition to the court._

 _"And I do hope you have a backup plan regarding who will teach them, because I have no intention of honoring the request for the time being," Frankenstein replied politely, but his tone seeped with venom. "Now if you'll excuse me," he bowed courteously and left the room without a word._

Foolish nobles simply bowing their heads to some rule, but then again, this had always been one of their greatest weaknesses: simply abiding to some old law, respecting the tradition and never questioning its glaringly dubious morality. They never stepped out of their designated roles, held tightly on a leash of so-called honor and pride, always complying to whatever their Lord told them, even if that meant they had to sacrifice their lives.

But Frankenstein wasn't a noble. He was a human, on a greater or lesser degree, but he still retained the most important aspect of humanity: their stubbornness. In the past, humanity had fallen many times, having brought themselves to their own demise or with a little help from some meddling nobles and werewolves, but just like weeds, they had bloomed again – they were one of the most resilient species on the planet.

Frankenstein was the epitome of stubbornness, with a side of thirst for knowledge and bad temper – it wasn't like him to just forgive and forget. He had been the Noblesse's servant for years – if he couldn't unfold their story, no one could.

He looked at the teacup in his hand. There was much to do: aside from taking care of his rather numerous family and cutting down the newest Union seedlings that were most likely to sprout after the destruction of the previous one, he had now to find out who the Noblesse was, after their unimaginable power had erased their presence from this world. He was basically fighting against the law of nature, but that only made this attempt more exciting. After all, he hadn't earned his title of 'betrayer of humanity' by abiding to nature's rules.

The future was full of uncertainties and who knew what disasters tomorrow might bring, but that made living an adventure, because what was life other than an journey.

He had a life to live.

For himself.

For his children.

And for… _him_.

 **TO BE CONTINUED… :)**


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